How do you flush a phone down a toilet, you ask?
I had my iPhone tucked safely (I thought) in my back pocket... and went about normal business. However, in China things are a bit different - ladies.
It isn't as simple as 'hovering' - you have to squat and it takes skills. Skill can be measured by how successfully you get in and out of one of these toilets without peeing on your own feet, the floor, or making the mistake of looking down and running a high risk of being splashed in the face.
Points are deduced if you touch the walls for support, unless you are so, so very brave or have hand sanitizer by the case!
And GOD help you if you forget to have your tissue in-hand upon entering...
While in the midst of this tricky business someone did the unthinkable and upset the balance of the universe by trying to force into the stall. I was startled, violently shaken from my perfectly poised squatting stance and as I bounced up and the phone bounced out.
It was surreal.
I heard something hit the porcelain and looked down to see it slide into a dark, mysterious abyss. It took a few moments for it to register... I replayed it in my mind over and over, blankly staring at the hole.
Not only did I drop my iPhone in the toilet - the toilet swallowed the WHOLE PHONE as if it were some sort of sacrificial offering...
This is the note that my teacher wrote for the maintenance people.I went downstairs, with this note in hand (my Chinese is not good enough to accommodate such circumstances) and they said it was impossible to recover. This was not a sufficient answer and my classmates - a few brave men, rolled up their sleeves only to discover why the maintenance people refused to help.
What we discovered was a seemingly endless abyss, at least over 4 foot long. Don't ask how we measured, but it is quite accurate. There was no bottom from the hole....down.
Alas, my iPhone is nestled somewhere near the center of the earth...and while they tell us it is forbidden to flush toilet paper, their plumbing can, apparently, digest an iPhone - whole.
It feels strange to say, but I have peed on it since...